How to be a good guest – it’s not only about a gift
There is lots of advice on how to host a party but without good guests, a party isn’t a party.
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When guests don’t follow the basic rules it can turn the host’s job into a miserable chore. As a guest there are a few simple things you should do to help the host have a successful event.
Good Guest Guidelines
Send an RSVP
It is always lovely to receive an invitation. Respond either yes or no as soon as you can.
If you can’t make it, the host has time to invite someone else to your place. If you can make it be sure to include any dietary requirements and confirm arrangements that might not be clear in the invitation. Is the party for a special occasion, will the event be held outdoors or is there a dress code?
Do not wait for the host to contact you to follow up after the RSVP date, it’s giving them a job to do and they are already busy!
When I hosted my first dinner party only four out of the seven people I invited turned up. I had been so busy with work, cleaning the house, cooking the meal, setting the table – I didn’t chase people. I just assumed that everyone was coming. It was so embarrassing, for everyone.
Angela
Arrive on Time
This is especially important for dinner invitations. The last thing a host wants to deal with is starving guests and the main meal drying out in the oven because someone is running late.
Also, if you arrive early, take a walk around the block rather than bother your host. They are likely to be doing a final check on the finishing touches before they are ready to welcome guests.
Never bring a plus one if they were not invited
A good guest would never bring someone with them who wasn’t invited. An exception may be if you called the host to say you couldn’t attend because your cousin was visiting, and the host asked you to bring them along.
But be careful about calling your host to specifically ask if you can bring someone with you. This borders on bad guest behaviour.
Always Bring a Host Gift
A gift should just be something simple to acknowledge your appreciation for being invited. A small bouquet of flowers in a box or vase is a sweet gesture. Try to avoid cut flowers as the host then needs to hunt for a vase. If you are attending a housewarming party try traditional gifts.
Stick to the basics: Wine, Chocolates, Candles, Flowers in a box, Flavoured Vinegar, Scented Soaps
If you bring a bottle of wine or a food item, do not be disappointed if your gift isn’t served at the party. The gift is for your host – not the other guests.
Mingle
Even if you don’t know anyone else at the event, you agreed to be there and are obligated to be social. If you are a little shy, ask your host to introduce you around. Try not to glue yourself to the host, they need to tend to the guests.
Have a few conversation ice breakers at the ready such as: “What was the highlight of your day today?” or “What passion project are you working on at the moment?” On the flip side have some answers at the ready if you are asked similar questions.
Show Respect
This includes not over-indulging in the open bar, keeping conversations civil, and avoiding the irresistible peeps into the medicine cabinet.
Know When to Leave
You’re having a blast, but all good things must end. Unless you are close enough with your host to stay and clean up or have been asked to stay longer, it’s time to go once things start to wind down. You don’t have to be the first to leave, just try not to be the very last.
Thank the host and exit, you don’t need to say goodbye to everyone you’ve met.
Send a Thank you
Send a little note the following day to say what a lovely party it was and how much fun you had. A text is fine, but a handwritten card is an extra special touch. I love the Blue Mountain online cards too.
Return the Invitation
When the time is right, a good guest also returns the invitation.
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